“Eddie”

Note: inside of a bus ambient, but not fully revealed until end.

WOMAN: When I think about how my blind date with Eddie ended, I’m proud to say I have few regrets. I don’t regret telling Eddie he shouldn’t have tossed that cigarette butt out his car window on our way to dinner. I don’t regret calling Eddie a slob for letting stuff fly out the back of his pickup, or for taking the highway patrolman’s side when he issued Eddie a $500 ticket for littering. And I certainly don’t regret reminding Eddie that road debris causes a lot of serious accidents and costs us millions to clean up every year.

No, I don’t regret any of those things. What I do regret is not waiting until our date was over before telling him all this. Because then I wouldn’t have had to shell out fifty bucks for this cab ride home.

ANNOUNCER: Don’t trash Arizona. To learn more or to report a litter violation, visit DontTrashArizona.com. A message from the Maricopa Association of Governments.

Audio Version (mp3)