“Grandpa Pride ”

Note: GRANDSON is a high school or college-age sounding male. BOLD statements that interrupt him are spoken by a GRANDPA-type voice, gruff and crotchety.

GRANDSON: So one day, my Grandpa starts in on me about how I should stand up straight, look people in the eye and take some pride in myself. And I’m like, look Pops, I got pride. And he says, “Yeah? Show me, or I’ll fight ya.” So I say, “Well… I take pride in my grades.” “Humph,” he says. “And, I take pride in my appearance.” “Get a haircut,” he grunts. “AND,” I say, “I take pride in our state roadways.” But then Grandpa goes, “Oh yeah? Prove it, smart guy.” So I tell him how I never litter, how I remind my friends not to toss cigarette butts out of the car, and how I once showed the other drivers at my summer job how to tie down a load so stuff won’t fly into the streets. Well, Gramps, he just stares at me for a sec and then says, “You got a lot of pride there, hot shot. I think you need to be dropped a peg. Put up your dukes.” My Grandpa’s so weird.

ANNOUNCER: To learn more ways you can help keep our roadways clean, visit “Don’t-Trash-Arizona-dot-com. A message from the Maricopa Association of Governments.

Audio Version (mp3)